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In the context of an ‘obesity epidemic’ that functions to legitimise the medical and social pathologisation of fatness (and celebrate the benefits of weight loss), the ‘choice’ to undergo weight loss surgery can be experienced as ‘assent’, rather than ‘consent’, and further, the lived difficulties and complications accompanying the lifelong management of a gastric band often remain invisible. In other words, the medico-cultural value of weight loss overshadows the complexities attendant on the allegedly simple ‘choice’ to undergo bariatric surgery and live a ‘fat-free’ life. Given this, this paper presents my own story about ‘assent’: a critical self-narrative that presents a disruptive and discomfiting counter-narrative to the excited and gleeful testimonials offered by post-operative gastric band patients on bariatric surgery websites. Using critical autoethnography, I will examine my own lived experience of having a gastric band implanted, and negotiating life with it in situ, in order to present a phenomenological account of the problematic lived (dis)connections between health and bodily appearance in obesity treatment protocols, and the role of ‘choice’ in neoliberal medicine.